It’s a very long story and a hard one to tell...to be from the United States of America. A myopic nation...like the celebrity culture it invented and continues to burnish to a blinding shine. The fatigue of trying to weigh real value against the vapidness of attention that has come to be equated with power, is relentless. If you have any intelligence....this place makes you so tired and schizophrenic. In 2016 after Trump was elected...I imploded. I was already struggling with capitalism, NYC and being an artist. But when a reality TV star became president...my moral compass was spun so hard, like a roulette wheel...my soul was simultaneously crushed and I was given license to be the baddest faggot in the universe. Thankfully I had already started to make a body of work about contemporary homosexuality in the age of Prep and digital culture...it became a war cry against the conservatism of a hack politician looking for an easy audience. I had a mission and being authentically me suddenly became an act of rebellion. In a way it gave me very clear purpose and I had something to push against. That was year one of the insanity called the U.S. government. After I had completed what I considered the basic creative elements of the SIR era...museum show, book, t-shirts, lectures, stage show and music videos.....I departed the USA. I was done with the bullshit. I went to Rio to sleep and fuck. I needed it! Then I went to Paris for what was supposed to be 3 days. After a magnificent 3 days that included writing with Mirwais and going to the Garnier to see an Alexander Eckman premiere in a Ludovic de Saint Sernin gown...I woke up hungover with my photographer lover and decided to skip my return flight. BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE....I highly recommend skipping flights. I’d never skipped a return flight and let me tell you...my life changed. It was very intuitive. I couldn’t understand at the time why but I have since realized it was a very American fatigue that forced me to stay in Paris. Initially I felt guilty being an expatriate. That I was abandoning my country when it needed me most. But I needed space. I needed to heal in a place where I couldn’t understand anything anyone was saying and especially what the news was saying. Paris was a great place to hide and think.

In November of 2018 I was visiting my family in the conservative South for Thanksgiving holidays. I had just tried to pull off a free tour of the USA performing the last Fischerspooner album. It was intended to be an initiative to get audiences registered to vote in the most vulnerable districts across the heartland. My plan failed but putting all my creative efforts towards politics was in my heart. While home I saw a strange infomercial called “1-800-thank your president”. It was narrated by Brad Parscale, Trump’s digital media director. It was the strangest political advertising I’d ever seen. It was pure trash and full of lies. It was so bad I thought it was a parody. Unfortunately it wasn’t a joke and this feeling of unreality has sadly become the state of affairs in the USA.

I was strangely haunted by this shabby commercial. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The cheap aesthetic. The myriad of lies. The fragile ego that I imagined needing to hear strangers thanking him for a job not done well. I couldn’t help but think that I could make a better commercial. A big part of my job as an artist is how I put together creative teams and make campaigns. And then I thought....”well, hell...I could make a better campaign. And then I thought....”it’s sad but true....I could make a better president”. With the bar being so low...it didn’t seem like much of a stretch. And then when I saw footage of Michelle Obama on her book tour at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn wearing a Balenciaga sparkle boot and yellow silk dress in conversation with Sara Jessica Parker...I knew I had to make a presidential themed project about the collision of politics and entertainment.

The first person I told was my father’s long term partner Leanne. I told her in my Grandmother’s kitchen late one night during Christmas holiday. It seemed crazy but she loved it. I had grown weary of my 70’s porn star persona I had been inhabiting for the past 4 years. I was ready for a new look and I wanted to age gracefully. I was starting to think about my upcoming 50th birthday. Maybe it was time to hang the thong up and put a shirt on...

I launched my campaign in January of 2019 on Instagram. The reaction was divided but Gareth Hague, a typography designer I had worked with years ago immediately expressed interest in designing a logo and visual identity. Within 2 days he had delivered several amazing ideas and we quickly chose one. My agent in NYC was not happy with the idea and took me to task. Threatening to potentially drop me as a client and claiming I would look like a buffoon, alienating potential clients. I respect her feedback and I understand her hesitation. But I really like to invest in developing a character and I have to believe in it. It can be confusing as my role isn’t limited to a film or stage like a traditional actor. As an artist playing with identity, it falls into my life. It creates confusion which I love. Because out of this confusion comes a suspension of disbelief....if I’m playing the part well.

For the next 2 years I built everything around this political theme and persona. The more I produced, the more my audience and creative community participated. It became easier and easier to work as I use social media as my sketch book, mood board and means of distribution. I recorded an entire presidential themed album in Berlin in the fall of 2019 with Julian Stetter, Lacquer and RGB1. It was one of the most prolific seasons of my life. I was knocking out a song a day. I think I wrote 14 songs in 10 days. And then Fabio Zambernardi, the design director at Prada, stepped in and created an entire wardrobe for the campaign. My goal was to redefine the image of power and Fabio did it!

Simultaneously I was embroiled in battles with my former business partner and a mega celebrity. It was intense and painful. I was stricken with panic attacks and having to deal with anxiety like I had never experienced. I literally thought I was going to die at times shaking uncontrollably. But something about these battles fed into the themes of politics and entertainment. The harassment, the manipulation, the intimidation of it all seemed directly connected to power and how it’s played out in show business. I was literally living through some kind of hellish reality show but I somehow kept working even though I was frozen out of my bank accounts by an embittered and jealous Fischer and fans of an unnamed mega-celebrity were trolling me online. I just kept working. We ended up with an amazing body of work created with an incredible team. We were all ready to take on 2020!

And then 2020 happened. What a fucked up year. I had originally planned....well there were a lot of plans...honestly too many and too painful to list. But I had built a body of work that was time sensitive. I had to keep going.....and for that I am very thankful. It kept me going even when I didn’t want to. Now as the year comes to a close and I look back on the 5 songs (not 14) that I was able to release....I’m very thankful. Thankful for the love and support of so many. Thankful to be an artist. Thankful for the social changes that are happening. Thankful for the end of the world as we know it and the beginning of something better. I have hope. Because if we can survive 2020.....we can survive anything. BIGGER, BETTER AND STRONGER. SPOONER2020!